My 10 Day Detox Extravaganza!

Well, well, well.

Let me simply say -

I feel amazing.

I feel empowered.

I feel relaxed.

I feel less nervous.

I feel less anxious.

I feel so much betta.

I wonder if my 10 Day Detox Extravaganza has anything to do with this? I suspect a correlation!

Listen. My intuition tapped and tapped on the walls of my inquisitive brain for many moons before I felt ready to be completely honest about what I needed on a daily basis. About a year ago I have gave up sugar as an addictive habit, and that was a life-affirming, heart-opening experience in itself.

I used the book Potatoes not Prozac, and followed their eight step success plan. Their methodology worked like a charm, quickly excavating my cumbersome little sugar fixation (as it stands, the plan is not very vegan/vegetarian friendly due to recommending high dosages of dense protein [chicken, meat, fish, eggs] as a way to stabilize blood sugar and reduce carbohydrate cravings).

For about 5 months in 2015-2016, I kept a food journal. I have an eating disorder background so I have to be very careful about food tracking. In order to heal, I've had to trek the barren landscape of my own childhood insecurities and young adult inadequacies, mending unloving thoughts and coaxing my subconscious into a peaceful and patient relationship with my body. Keeping a food journal that did not include calorie counting was a transformational practice for me. 

I wrote down what I ate and how it made me feel. I kept a list of feelings on hand, this helped me feel prepared and thus, more confident. I eventually switched to my own system of emojois, 'cause, well, emojois are short-hand in comparison to listing my feelings several times a day.

Sidebar: I can be melodramatic, so as a psychological trick, I intentionally selected a list biased toward "good feelings." Tricky, tricky, I know...hah!




Flash-forward to 2017 and I was feeling the push to re-examine the nutrition principles I'd learned in 2015-2016 when I nipped my sugar habit in the bud.

I am sensitive. And while I felt lifetimes more energized than when my sugar fixation was not being addressed or well-managed, I still struggled with persistent bloating and variable energy levels (i.e. fatigue, some joint and back pain, being weepy/emotional in moments when I really wanted to reel it in). My main motivator however, was noticing that I lacked the stamina to follow-through on creative projects (which poses a real issue as a creative writer and artist). I was also having a difficult time waking up in the mornings.

I wanted more energy. Not just to receive inspiration from the cosmos (I'm good at being an open vessel for receiving messages). Rather, I wanted to push it further. I wanted the vitality to commit to all phases of the creative process, which, in my mind, involves:

1. Receiving inspiration
2. Creating the appropriate time and space to transmit the message ( i.e. universal human truth/insight on the human condition).
3. Possessing the emotional resilience and basic confidence not to quit during the process of manifestation, leaving the message halfheartedly transmitted and decoded.

I'd have these hyper-moral conversations with myself:

"Sheeebaaaah! What about your artistic integrity?"

"What about the principle of following through?"

"What about ensuring that the details and larger panoramic view of your work are in aesthetic and conceptual synchronicity?"

"What about producing art for art's sake?"

"What about producing art for humanity's sake?"

"Where is your got.damn. passion?"

Yes, all of that. This neurotic narrative sailing through the undercurrents of my subconscious was just too much. I wanted to be the Captain of my Ship. My Shebah Saturn Ship.

Now clearly, these symptoms (general fatigue and the tremendous blocks I experienced when it came to completing creative projects) could have been attributed to other factors besides what I was eating. And yet, my inner-voice told me that focusing on a person-specific nutrition plan would increase my day to day feelings of esteem, stability and wellness. My inner-voice was 1,000% right! During this cleanse I learned that I did, in fact, have an imbalance of bacteria in my gut. Aaand, without further ado, here are the logistics of my 10 Day Detox Extravaganza:


                                   

For Ten Days, I...

1. Avoided grains (with the exception of "pseudo-grains" like quinoa, limited to 3/4 cup per day). I feel like this goes without saying but, I also avoided cakes, candy, chips, no junk food! :)

2. Avoided fruits - temporarily! Fruits contain amazing nutrients, some fiber, and lots of other bio-available goodness. I do not recommend doing this as a consistent thing!

3. Increased my veggie intake (about 6-8 cups of kale, asparagus, bell peppers, spinach, garlic, onions, cabbage per day).

4. Consumed about 4 ounces of lean protein twice a day.

5. Took two probiotic pills with 5 billion CFU's (Colony Forming Units) each.

6. Took three tables of 1,000 mgs of Vitamin C with Rose Hip (make sure the tablets don't have any sugar, you don't want to feed the yeast!)

7. On the seventh day, I did an at-home enema with 1 tablespoon of Epsom Salt. Looking back, I would've done this every three days, for a total of three times throughout the detox. It's important to eliminate your waste as you flood your body with good bacteria, since the extra yeast in your gut will be released into your bloom stream and you will likely experience die-off symptoms.

8. Rested and tried to get about 8-10 hours of sleep per day. This was key during the detox. You will feel physical changes in your body as it releases the "bad" bacteria in your gut. This cleanse will make you more tired since your immune system will be kicked into over drive. Please, rest!

The inter-webs are hiiiighly vast, and so, I won't go too in-depth about what candida "die-off" is, but I do want to share that I experienced this phenomenon from about the fourth until the tenth day.

This was the very first detox where my body exhibited potent symptoms of detoxification. I had a low-grade fever, head cold, headache, slight earache, and lots of mucus pouring through my nasal cavity. Gross, and yet, I was fascinated.

While bloating and indigestion had become common place in my world, I had yet to consciously take responsibility for the correlation between my digestive health, yeast overgrowth, and bouts of fatigue and moodiness. It turns out, holistic health practitioners refer to your digestive system as the "second brain." Lots of metabolic processes take place among these powerful cohort of digestive organs, and when you have an imbalance of yeast in your system, bloating, indigestion, back pain and emotional disturbances often ensue.

After four days, the good bacteria in the probiotic pills I was taking flooded my system and began to colonize my gut (seriously, that's the scientific term for it). While these healthy lactobacilli set up camp, the excess yeast got an immediate eviction notice. Excessive yeast is toxic for the system; the body identifies it as a foreign invader, causing white blood cells to proliferate and plumpen (yes, I wrote "plumpen.")

I am writing about my detoxification experience on the 13th day, the day of rebirth, transformation and divine feminine knowing. The number 13 is a psychic energy that ignites the innermost layers of our human-spiritual experience. Intuition tells us that while the intensity of one journey comes to an end, another path opens. What's the purpose of coaxing yourself to endure this process of detoxification and transformation if your thinking is so linear that you ignore what you've learned once a certain phase is "done?"

"Detox is over! F*ck it - time to order pizza."

Lol! Noooooo. That is not a good idea.

Transition lightly and compassionately toward the next phase. The aggressive phase of the detox process is not sustainable. Phase II takes into account lifestyle, and the more social component that goes along with celebrating life and eating well (i.e. sometimes, you want a little cheese, or 1 cup of quinoa rather than 1/2 a cup, or a glass of wine).

Phase II involves continuing with your probiotic pills and vitamin C for the next 30 days. Ten days from now, I will reduce my daily probiotic CFU's to 5 billion rather than 10 billion. I will also modify my vitamin C intake to 1,000 mg rather than 3,000 mg per day.

Because I've lived in my body for as long as I have, I am aware that I will probably never be able to consume carbohydrates (even super healthy ones, like starchy veggies, buckwheat pancakes, and bowls of pineapple) with reckless abandon. My body is simply not built that way. And it makes sense, I have a history of sugar sensitivity, diabetes and hypoglycemia in my family.

Part of the transformative power of this 10 Day Detox Extravaganza was about memory and acceptance. Remembering that the body I was given bears an acute sensitivity to grains. While it is sometimes inconvenient not to be able to munch on chips and pizza with other folks at the potluck, I am okay with making adjustments to honor my body.

I have learned that building health is not always convenient.

I want to preserve my happiness and prevent the mental and physical stress that occurs as a direct result of not giving my body what it needs.

I accept this vessel I was given and I am going to be responsible about what I put into it.

'Cause, very often, what we put into something is what we get out of it...

Peace and love y'all. 

- @shebahsaturn

Only Light Can Do That - Live Reading of "I Woke Up Feeling Mexican AF"

Blessings Loves!

Last night I flew into downtown Los Angeles to read my written piece selected for publication in the anthology, Only Light Can Do That, a collection of post-election short stories, poems and essays.

My pa and ma, primas, cuñada, sobrinos, hermana, hermanito and his esposa mobbed it to the Last Book Store. 

I felt held up by their love.

I read my piece with a measured cadence. 

I focused on filling the shared space with a sentiment of passion and bold truth. 

I read my last line, and the crowd roared. 

Whaaaaat!? The response was unexpected. 

I didn't know anyone there besides my familia standing on the sidelines - smiling all big. 

It was a surreal experience - and yet, everything about that moment felt completely right.

Onward and upward from here mi gente!

-Shebah 

El Poder Magnífico De Nuestras Madres - The Power of Our Mothers!

Y'all. 

Mi gente.

My people.

Today is my madre's birthday. 

My momma, Laura Selva, was born November 29th -- and what a compassionate, wise and responsible nature she has. 

How tremendous and almost unfathomable her strength, endurance and love have been.

When I think of my mother, I conjure up moments of her unshakable resolve. 

The kind of love she has within her
and her commitment to offering this special
endlessly receptive love to those who cross her path
can only be the work of a soul who has been touched
by the intricacy of lightness --
the other realms,
the higher dimensions. 

I have so many words and thoughts on this day - the day of one of my co-creators.

Mostly, I feel these infinitely deep
and textured vibrations resounding,
and then harmonizing, within me.

My mama nourished me.
She took me from the rich mud of our mother earth,
and she walked with me
 as I molded myself into the woman I am today.

Thank you for your sacrifice

Thank you for your faith

Thank you for celebrating your sensuality

Thank you for being a purposeful force to be reckoned with

Thank you for your self-evaluation

Thank you for learning to love yourself

And thank you for never giving up on Papa
(when you were told to walk away).

Thank you is so simple
but sometimes simplicity does it best -
you taught me that.

I am privileged to know you, beautiful lady.

Through lifetimes,

Andrea & Shebah

...y siempre "de la Selva"

I woke up this morning determined to be mexican af.

I woke up this morning determined to be mexican af.

I woke up this morning determined to be even more graciously, proudly, and undeniably chicana, mexicana, latin@-americana.

I washed my face, put on my black eyeliner, red lip-liner and orange lipstick.

I let my arms relax and hang without worry towards mother earth. I took a deep breath through my nose, held in my air for eight seconds and released my nervousness.

And so, we prepare for battle, metaphorically, and quite literally.

Never trip or stumble in the mind, mi gente.

We know who we are. We know that our cultural legacy runs deep. We know that our connection to our ancestors is sacred and that our spiritual relationship to this earthly dimension confuses people who are disconnected from nuestra madre tierra.

Amerikkka has shown us who their president is. As they say, when people show you who they are, believe them.

I feel for my Muslim brothers and sisters, my friends and family of the African diaspora, and those who embrace their ancestry nation wide.

I feel for all of us who are not white nationalists, for all of us who believe in multiculturalism, open-mindedness and respecting cultural differences.

I feel for people who have recently arrived in this country with the hope of achieving this illusive sham of the American dream.

I feel for us.

I will never be convinced into thinking that assimilation and the white-washing of our culture is the only way for us, and others, to feel safe.

There is nothing inherently wrong or sinister about who we are, or where we come from.

We don't have to stop extending the way we extend - opening our doors and hearts to celebrate our differences, while trusting our intuitive response to the world around us - this is what we do.

We will create our own nation within a nation.

It starts in the mind and in the heart.

You know I love you.

Today I give you love (it matters not what you give me).

There are cycles of birth and rebirth. 

Sometimes our hands reach out in love and receive nothing but cold air in return. 

All is well. 

This existence is fickle and emotional. 

The waves of our human existence can wash back onto lands of past pain unexpectedly. 

My finger tips extended out to meet softness, to meet you in the very center of your heart. 

I was not embarrassed. 

I did not care what others would say, do, or think. 

All I wanted was to meet you there, in that iridescent blue jungle of seashells, sand and iguanas. 

I wanted to pull the stardust hanging down from the mango trees and give you succulent fruit to eat. 

You were so beautiful, and you said you knew it. 

Behind your eyes, your spirit trembled. 

You were powerful and forthright, and yet --

your declarations of self-adornment were fragile; your faith easily broken. 

Love is a salve the can heal all nervousness,

 no matter how ancient or intangible the wound. 

 Love is medicinal. Sometimes the salve is bitter, 

other times, it tastes as deep and sweet as cinnamon.

I wanted to nurture you, kiss and swirl confidence into the supple parts of your skin. 

I cannot help it, I am a child of Yemaya. 

I like the smell of the ocean and the romance that the water holds. 

Tarot Key 14: On Temperance & Guiding Our Inner-Wrath

I remember reading Audre Lorde's "Uses of Anger: Women Responding to Racism." This was my first introduction to anger as a state of being that was not only a natural part of the human spectrum of emotions, but an energy field that holds tremendous leveraging potential. 

If we are willing to apply a little creativity, we can harness our anger, using the intensity of our emotions as a springboard to acquire that which we truly desire.

Aaaand, trust me, honey! As a Scorpio Moon Child, you can be 300% certain that I know all about stubborn, fixed emotions and the seemingly uncontrollable downward spiral of destruction that can result when we don't oversee over primal human selves.  

We can't let physical feelings with that kind of strength invade and swell our subconscious. As sentient beings, our subconscious pull is highly potent (it's why advertising and marketing work so well) and why we are so vulnerable to the direction of our deep down, buried subliminal tides. 

Like a bull itching to be released into the ring, anger is bold, self-initiating energy, concentrated and compressed. Temperance, or Key 14 in the Tarot, offers us some grounded insight on how to best channel our anger. 

The fiery and sometimes impulsive leadership qualities of the 1 unite with the practical and methodical nature of the 4, calling for temperance, or, the progressive application of our anger. The key word here is self-restraint. It is recognizing our inner-wrath and tempering it, channeling the depth of our anger and setting appropriate plans to set the tone in our favor. When we are angry, one thing we have in surplus is passion (and adrenaline).  

If you've ever been tasked with the responsibility of completing a project you are less than passionate about, you're familiar with the degree to which passion acts as a catalyst to get your butt in gear and get 'er done. 

Channeling Temperance (Key 14) in the Tarot might look like consciously working with your breath as you take a brisk walk, jog or run in nature, repeating a mantra: "I am the wrath that produces the anger. I am also the wrath that controls my anger."

Remember, your anger is valuable! It means you're alive. It means you've received a message from your primal self, from your "guts." When your energy field is saturated with a force field of passion and stern anger, apply the principle of self-restraint to your feelings of wrath and you will be amazed at your level of productivity!

In Peace (& Smartly Tempered Wrath!)

Shebah 

All Your Life

#allyourlife

All your life

you have this feeling

that you are supposed to be 

be something bigger than what

and who you already are

Something major

something tangibly bright and beautiful

with enough of the right kind of rust

and ancient around your edges

to classify you as credible and timeless

by those that matter

When art moves through you

it is relentless;

you make such little sense

to the outside world

I’ve been wanting to paint lately

and I couldn’t tell you why

or recall

when the desire

came over me

but for once

I don’t care

for calculations

or re-numerations -

I do not have

nostalgic anticipation

for the humming bird workings

of my detached cerebral mass -

tootoo much

of what I’ve relied on

rests upon my neurological circuitry

I am

disconnected from the moon  

left in motion

I replay and re-preach

in ancestral disbelief

liquid seeds pocketed

underneath my sacral chakra

I am

re-awakening 

I wish it were this easy

to walk

upon creative waters

to stop

and say nothing else really matters

but my desire

and this moment

and this fire

inside my heart

that has been wanting to

keep me warm

for so long

for so long

 for too long.